KOLLUR TO KUDAJADRI

I have wanted to visit Kudajatri , for the last couple of years. Our visits to the Moogambika Devi temple at Kollur had always been rushed , leaving no time for a Kudajatri trip.This time when my husband's schoolmate contacted us with a view to meet us and then go on to Kollur and maybe Kudajatri as well, we decided to join them on this trip.So here we were in Kollur.We had a spiritually satisfying darshan of Mookambika Devi , partook of dinner at the temple hall and returned to the guest house where we were lodged.After arranging for a jeep to take us to Kudajatri the next morning we retired for the night.(The road to Kudajatri is only negotiable by jeep,hence the need for a jeep.)
The next morning,by six a.m.,after a couple of cups of strong coffee we were ready to start off on our adventure.  The four of us got into the waiting jeep.The friend's wife(Usha),self and husband got into  the back of the jeep while Kumar(the classmate),sat next to the driver.There were strong grips hanging down from the framework above our heads.......... and these were to prove very useful once we got onto the jeep track later.
The distance by road from Kollur to Kudajatri  approximately 25 km.,15 km. of which is the infamous jeep track ! Legend has it that the first Sankaracharya meditated here and there is the Sarvajna peedam on the Kudajatri peak dedicated to him.The jeep track only goes until the Moolasthana at Kudajatri.To reach the peak one has to trek up(about 2 km)The peak is at a height of about 1343 m.above sea level.

The cool morning air was exhilarating.The road meandered through verdant forests and glades as we passed through small hamlets like Mattimane,Hebburuli. We spotted a few wild fowls and wild boars as they darted accross the road .Nittor village saw some jeeps lining the road as this was where most tourists who come by buses get down to catch jeeps for their onward journey.Just beyond Nittor is  a sharp right turn onto the jeep track.

Seeing the jeep track or rather the absence of it in most places,we suddenly realised what we were going to be in for! At some places we had to bump over boulders, sometimes roots,ruts,ditches ..etc.Soon, these were coupled with steep hair-pin bends too !For the most part now,the track ran on the edge of the slopes.The sheer drop to one side though scary, presented some awesome views.As we ascended, the steep hair-pin bends got to be almost continous.By then we were all holding onto the grips for dear life!The view of the valley was a beautiful one but all we wanted right then was for the ride to be over.Suddenly in

the distance we saw a white building( the Inspection Bungalow ) gleaming in the sun.That was where we were headed as the track ends there,informed our driver Santosh.Finally we roll to a stop next to the I.B. At close quarters the building looked rundown and haunted.There is a very small temple here ( this is the Moolasthan of the Devi), maintained by an Adiga family.They have been living here for generations, the priestly duties to the goddess being handed over from on to the next.Their ancestral home is across from the temple.They also provide home cooked meals to visitors on order.The summit is higher up and is reachable only on foot.The beauty here is so overwhelming and this is a must visit place for all nature lovers. After slaking our thirst with plenty of water we decided to start to start climbing.Raji's classmate who was not coming up offered to take care of our bags.

The climb was steep and took us through different kinds of terrain.The initial part was more rocky.We had to be careful and at places needed to use our hands for balance while climbing.The path soon started to look like the bed of a rivulet.I am sure in the rainy season there would be water flowing down to contend with as well.The rough path got to be slightly shady thanks to over hanging branches of trees on one side.The rocky surface gave way to fine gravelly dust and we were on a vast expanse of arid area with the sun beating down on us.The slope was ever upwards and steep too ! We cross a group of chattering collage students on their way down after catching the sunrise.Just as we thought we were almost to the top we realised that now we were going to be trekking up with  a sheer drop on one side and not much space on the other side either.The mountainside was barren and in the distance we could see other slopes  which were green with vegetation.The view was a fantastic one......Clouds and mist everywhere. We had to pick our way very carefully as the fine gravel made the slopes slippery.The terrain changes again.Now the path leads through a canopy of thick green trees, creepers and undergrowth.It was blissful to be out of the sun !Just before entering this area we could see a shelter on a far off summit.This is the Sarvajna peedam dedicated to  Adi Shankaracharya. The walk through the shaded area is pleasant though there are  rocks or pebbles of all shapes and sizes.

As we climb, we come upon a fork in the path-one leading to the top and the other  is said to lead to an idol of lord Ganapathy. We choose to go straight up as we had no idea of the distance to the Ganapathy.The path soon bursts out into bright sunlight and barren rocky terrain and we see the peedam ahead.There is nothing but barren rock at the summit.The temple town of Kollur could be soon in the far distance and the temple too was visible from here.From the back of the peedam,  a steep climb down  leads to the place from where the river Souparnika starts(approx. 1 km.).We decided not to try this as the climb was supposedly quite difficult.We pose for pictures and gush at the beauty all around. A strong breeze cools us from our climb.We took just under an hour to reach the summit.We start our climb down after countless photo shoots.We make good time to the jeep and climb back in for the ride back to Kollur.

In retrospect I feel that it was not such a hard trek at all and I would love to do this again sometime.

Recollections of my mother's last days

It is  almost a year and a half since our mother left us .At 82 she was active  till her last few days.My brother and family lived with her in the ancestral house in Annamanada,Thrissur District,Kerala..She was a pillar of strength and wisdom to us her three children and our families.My sister and family lived in Angamaly about 25 km. away while my husband and myself were in Mangalore, Karnataka,

We used to meet up at Amma's (mother in Malayalam language) once a month.Just three days before she took ill we had all got together.On the spur of the moment my husband and self decided to take the train home for the weekend.My sister and family too decided to join us for the weekend.We had a wonderful time at Annamanada.

When I bid Amma goodbye that evening as we left for Mangalore......little did I know that that would be the last time I would be seeing her in a conscious state.As always she was sitting there in the balcony waving goodbye to us.

Just three days later,my brother's son-in -law rang up at night to say that amma had collapsed while having her dinner and that they had taken her immediately to a hospital at Chalakudy.We were informed that she was in the I.C.U. and that she was in an unconscious state but stable.

We managed to get a train reservation for the next day's train which would reach Chalakudy by 10 p.m.  I informed my son and daughter -in-law who were based at Manila,Philippines and daughter and son-in-law who were in Chennai,TN.. Though their first instincts were to rush to be by their ammuma's bedside, I told them to  wait till I got to Chalakudy and saw how she was.

My train- Maveli Express- reached Chalakudy and I went straight to St. James Hospital where she was admitted.The I.C.U. rules do not permit visiting at such late hours ,so I could not  see her then.My brother and sis-in -law as well as sister and brother-in-law were there in the visitors  waiting room which was full of anxious relatives of the I.C.U. patients.Amma had been in an unconscious state for more than 24 hours.After various tests and scans the doctors were of the opinion that she was in a stable condition at the moment.However 

considering her age they could not say that she was out of danger yet.

Chettan(elder brother in malayalam ) had managed to rent a room on the upper floor.I decided to stay in the hospital.My sister too said she was staying as long as amma was in the hospital.As chettan and sis-in-law had been at the hospital since the previous night without any sleep,we persuaded them to go back home on the promise that we would call in case of any emergency.Since one person was required to be present at the I.C.U. waiting room at all times,my brother-in-law opted to wait there while we sisters went up to the room to try and get some rest.Hardly an hour later the ringing of the intercom phone in our room made us jump out of bed.On snatching up the receiver I heard the nurse's query if I was the relative of Ammini Amma( my mother'sname ).On affirmation I was told to reach the I.C.U. immediately.Rema(my sister ) told me to rush down while she locked up and followed. I literally flew down the steps to reach the I.C.U. On ringing the doorbell ,a nurse met me .Giving me an overall and mask to don, she directed me to the medical wing of the I.C.U. The doctor at the nursing station told me that he had been summoned to attend to amma. Her B.P. had dropped and she had had a few seizures .They had stabilized her for the time being.I was advised to  inform close relatives, as her condition was very precarious, especially so, considering her age.He then allowed me to go to her bedside.My first sight of her was heart-rending to say the least. She looked so frailsurrounded and enveloped in medical equipments.......tubes from her nostrils,oxygen mask, I.V., cardiac monitor......My heart broke to see her thus.My fiercely independent mother reduced to this ! I tried connecting to her on some level...... stroking her ever so gently through tears told her that Rema was there too and that chettan would reach soon.By then Rema was with me.After some time we were told to wait outside.

Chettan reached quickly.He had just reached home when we called him back.He came expecting the worst....that she might have gone.....but I assured him otherwise and told him to ring the bell and go see her.He too was sent out after a few minutes.After that we spent the rest of the night sitting and pacing the waiting room.The nurses were kindly and from time to time brought us news of her condition.At dawn we took turns to go up to the room freshen up and hurry back to the waiting room.

After morning rounds by the physician they let one person in to see the patient. Chettan told me to go in.So I went in to see her.She was still the same. the doctor too did not offer much hope.Once I came out, I decided to ring up my children and tell them to come if they could.They were the only grand children who were away.Both said they would come at the earliest.My daughter and her husband reached by the next day's flight.My husband who is a surgeon was in telephonic contact with the treating physician and came the next day.My son  was looking to arrange for leave and come as soon as possible.

This hospital had a system by which we could see the I.C.U.  patients through a viewing window twice a day.One wall of the visitors room was the viewing window which was covered from inside at other times.So every morning and evening for 5 minutes they allowed us to see our dear ones through this window and thrice a day one close relation is allowed into the I.C.U. to meet the patient.So our time there was spent thus.... from moment to moment.After the earlier fright we got ,we siblings decided that the three of us would  spend our time in and around the visitors room.We only went up to the room to freshen up or for our meals .When my husband came to look her up he too opted to stay at the hospital in the room upstairs.He had to go back and would visit on the weekend. During the day the grandchildren too would be there as they could then see her through the window.Amma's bed was just next to the viewing window and we used to sit just next to the window waiting and trying to will her to get well.Her progress was very slow, much too slow and  we adults were bracing ourselves to the fact that she might not make it. In my prayers I used to ask that she should not suffer.One morning when the viewing window was open it felt like she looked at us with recognition and tried to wave,The doctor said she was not conscious and it was an involuntary twitching of the muscles.Much as my mind tells me the doctor has to be right, to this day I believe that she saw us all that day and knew that we were all there.That day my husband was also there. There was an improvement in her condition in that though she was not conscious she was able to respond to motor commands like pressing down with feet or raising her feet etc...That night before he left, my husband told me that we have to wait another 36 hours at least to tell one way or the other.The next morning when the viewing window was open we saw her lying quietly. Then after about half an hour the nurses called for 2 of us to go inside the I.C.U. Chettan and myself went in .The nurse said that her condition was deteriorating.and so I got my sister too to come in. My heart went down then as I saw  the defibrillator being wheeled in.I knew then that I was saying good bye to my amma.Tears streaming down I quickly kissed her and left as we were told to wait outside.After what seemed an eternity we were told that they could not save her.

All of us were there including her grandchildren.The hospital gave us an ambulance to take her body home.By the time we reached home the main hall of the house had been made ready to lay her out.. The cremation was 

done the same afternoon.

I still miss her and find it hard to believe that she is no more.Then I take solace in the fact that she did not suffer much or linger on in that state. She would never ever have wanted that. In fact time and again she used to say that she hoped god would not make her bedridden and be dependent  on others.

So Thank You God for being kind to her.

A Start.

Born in God's Own Country i.e. Kerala.....grew up in what was then called The Malay Peninsula and now Malaysia.....moved back to Kerala on Dad's retirement...went to college at Eranakulam,Cochin. Marriage to a young surgeon in the Army Medical Corps meant moving to all corners of India...till his retirement from the A.M.C. We were even posted to Kala Pani!  But more of that some other time.Now we are in Mangalore where my husband is into his 2nd. innings.

Motherhood brought with it all the joys,heartaches,anxious moments....now I understand why they say that a woman is complete only when she attains motherhood ! It has been a wonderful voyage so far.I think we all grow wiser and more mature in the process.Before I knew it the kids ( a lovely son and a beautiful daughter ) had grown up and had spread their wings...first for studies,jobs and then to star their own families.In the process now I have not one son and a daughter but two  loving sons and daughters! I am blessed indeed ! 

With time on my hands now is the  moment for me to put down my thoughts in blog form.This is completely new to me.So kindly bear with me.

This month is my dear departed mother's 1st death anniversary. I am about to leave for my ancestral home to take part in the rituals connected with it.When I come back I think I'll try and put down my memories of her last days.  last.

Opening Post

Hmnnn...........Here goes..stepping into the blog world is like being in a new universe altogether!Am feeling excited and nervous all at once.Anyways.....

Hello  everyone! Memories ....... our lifes are a sum total of our memories.....sad times, happy times,adventures.....etc.etc.

I am looking to relive these memories by putting it down in this blog and maybe some of you might enjoy reading  it.

My earliest memories start in Malaya(as in The Malay Peninsula).My father was then working as an administer aas well as dispensary-in-charge of  a rubber estate in the state of Johor. Since I grew up in Malaya most of my childhood memories are set in Malaya...at least till my college days!  Phew! Thats it for now.I will come back with lots of interesting stories soon....Bye